The legendary John O’ Donohue, one of my favorite authors and spiritual leaders who speaks so eloquently about Soulmates and Celtic Spirituality, said that each one of us is called to be the artist who shapes our own life in a way that it’s a great creation. And a real artist is one that confronts the threshold where the loneliest darkness meets the richest light. So all the negative sides of ourselves are not things to be cut out by moral surgery but are presences to be called in to the real inner conversation where the magic of real change and integration happen, the fruits of which is the contented heart, which is the dream of everyone.
In this video excerpt from the Soulmate special from the award winning Quest for Love four one hour PBS special, Barbara De Angelis, one of America’s most esteemed love experts and best-selling authors, shares with us her secrets to truly connecting with herself in what she calls Real Moments.
“One of the greatest turning points of my life was several years ago when I had achieved a lot of success, a lot of the dreams I’d always wanted to achieve, I finally had the great relationship I’d always wanted and I had the great unpleasant, uncomfortable realization that I was not happy.
Because I always thought if I blank I’ll be happy. And we all have that. If only I make a million dollars I’ll be happy. If only I finally find a husband I’ll be happy. If only I finally get the business I’ve always wanted, whatever it is. Well I had achieved many of my dreams and I wasn’t happy. And I was shocked to find this out.” Barbara continues on to say “And when I looked inside, what I realized were the moments in which I had truly experienced happiness in my life had nothing to do with getting anything, or doing anything.
They were moments that I define as real moments. Moments of connection with myself, with another person, with nature. Moments of appreciation of the miracle of life. Moments when I felt so grateful to be part of this creation. Those were the moments that had always lit up my heart and I didn’t need any of the things that I had achieved to get them. “
Best Selling Author and Cultural Icon, Erica Jong, continues the idea of living a path with heart. She says that “It’s hard also to pursue a spiritual path when everything around you in society says, oh get a new BMW you’ll be happy. Have a younger girlfriend, you’ll be happy. Get those new Gucci stiletto boots with the steel heels, you’ll be happy. And then you have those things and they don’t make you happy. And your house is cluttered up with all kinds of junk that doesn’t make you happy, and you’re not even on the right path.”
And there’s not much encouragement for the path with heart. I mean you have to seek it. You have to say OK I.. now I’m on a different path. But you’re going against everything society tells you, when you do that. And I think it’s the only path.
Barbara so eloquently shares the profound insight she arrived at. “So I went back in a sense on a quest for the things that I always had access to but had not focused on. The real moments. And I renewed my spiritual search in my life. I renewed my, my quiet time. I renewed my, my odyssey for real moments every day. And my whole life completely transformed. Completely transformed.
Everyday spirituality means finding the good, finding the god, finding the love in every situation. Not just in some situations. That’s what true spirituality is.
If you truly have a real moment with your true self, with the miracles around you, you’ll be at the destination of your journey right now.“ By Lili Fournier