Here’s the truth. Bad marriage is boring. Unfulfilled marriage is boring. Marriage without honesty is boring. Marriage without growth is boring. And so you can think well that means monogamy is boring. That’s absolutely an absurd and superficial conclusion. True marriage is the most exciting, the most dynamic, the most challenging, the least boring thing in the entire world. If you’re not growing, you’re going to get bored with yourself and your partner. And novelty with somebody new for six months or a year, or two years, will take care of it and you’re going to be right back to the same situation again.
Your partner’s job is not to keep you interested. Your job is to keep yourself interesting and growing by being a dynamic human being, not thinking that the marriage is supposed to somehow fill you up. But the marriage, every day, by definition, is based on who you bring to the marriage bed. Who you bring to the kitchen table. And if who you’re bringing, meaning yourself, isn’t fulfilled, isn’t full of love, isn’t full of passion, isn’t full of enthusiasm, isn’t full of courage for life, of course you’re going to have a boring marriage. But it’s not because marriage is boring. It’s because you’re boring. It’s because you’re not leading your life as a true spiritual warrior. – Barbara DeAngelis