We all have an innate craving to have our deepest needs satisfied, and that by getting those needs met we begin to feel fully alive, to feel connected, to feel whole and to feel a sense of truly pulsating vitality. In fact, when we fall in love that’s the kind of unconscious yearning that breathlessly blows us away.
One of the things that’s so hard for women to understand is that there are certain differences and you can’t change them. If you try to change them it will not work. And that basic difference is, the man needs to be the pursuer. If you pursue a man more than he pursues you, he becomes the pursued and he loses touch with his ability to hunger for her, to want her, to be motivated to do things to get her. Men have to be driven, they have to find that there’s a distance and I have to cross over that distance. I have to get to her. I have to win her over. – John Gray
Well in order to have passion in a relationship, I think you need to be able to live a passionate life generally. I don’t think that any of these things can be done just within the relationship itself if it’s not in life. We have to be passionate in our work. Passionate in our community life. Passionate in our relationship to nature. Living in a place we feel some passion for. Having an intimacy with the place where we live and really loving it. And if we don’t love it then maybe go to find some place you can love. Or if you can’t go anywhere, and if you hate the place, that’s passion. But do something with it. You know, be passionate with it. The worst thing is to just be numb. Which is so characteristic of modern times. – Thomas Moore